Excuse me while I vent

Ahhhhh!! So I went on the mother of all stupid interviews today. Again, I should’ve gone with my first inclination and not gone on the interview at all. It was way out in Lynn. That was the first problem. I had to cut out from the service group early to do this interview. I said in the morning, I hope I don’t get the job cause I really don’t want this one. I don’t want the job, but I was hoping for it to be a productive interview, a learning experience if you will, and was it ever. But of course not like I had expected.

Like my last dumb interview, I’m just going cause I already made the appointment and don’t want to stand her up after she had prepared for it. So I go. Tim and Arthur drop me off by Central Sq. Lynn so I can take the bus over to Chestnut Street about a mile or so away. I get lost, of course, trying to find the bus terminal. I find it and am on my way out to wherever this place is. I get there and I’m like 1/2 hour early. They accept me in early.

Now, it’s clear this woman is NOT prepared for this interview. She asks how much experience I’ve had. I say, “Around 5 years.” She’s like, “How can that be when you graduated in 2002?… Oh my, I can see I didn’t read your cover letter as thoroughly as I should have.” She continues to say, “I was looking for someone with a lot more experience.” It was clear, from that point, the interview was pretty much over. But she made a feeble attempt to drag its life on another couple of agonizing minutes. After about 10 seconds of silence, she says, “I… I don’t know what to say.” She must’ve uttered that a good 5 times throughout the course of this less-than-10-minute interview. I felt like I was watching a George Bush interview. Enough “um’s” and “uh’s” and stumbling words to make even George shake his head in disbelief. I kid you not. If anyone had seen clips of Bush’s interview with Diane Sawyer, I felt like I was reliving that. Yes, it’s an unrehearsed interview, but he should pretty much have guessed the questions that will be asked and prepared his answers in advance if he couldn’t improv well. In this woman’s case, even without the preparation, just spit out the boring default interview things people say.

Anyway, she then says, “Do you have your portfolio to show me?” I think to myself, “Why should I even bother?” but I say, “It’s online.” (This lady really didn’t read my resume.) Then she goes on to criticize the fact that I didn’t bring a print portfolio in. I tell her, one doesn’t exist because I canned it for the web portfolio. She asks how many interviews I’d been on to which I say, several. She says, “And none have expected a print portfolio?” Apparently, she didn’t expect me to say, “No, none of them have.”

“Uhm… uhh…”

“All places have expected a web portfolio from me. I just figured it’s a given to show that, and if prints are expected, it would be specified.”

“Well, I’m not here to argue about this. Let’s just see what you have online.”

I don’t know why I let this continue this long, but here is where things start to get stupid. Here is the point where I’m seeing that this woman is clearly not the brightest crayon in the box. She goes to my site and clicks over to the print section. First, she starts complaining that I have only four pieces there. I’ve learned that for a portfolio, print or web, you don’t want to put everything you’ve ever done and show like 50+ pieces. Just a little bit of everything will get across the idea of what kind of designer you are. Adding too many samples is a bad thing which I’ve been told a million times.

Next thing is I’ve had computer illiterates look at my site — people who have limited Internet skills and they have no problem navigating their way around the site. This woman had no idea what she was doing. She didn’t know to click the arrows and numbers at the bottom to shuffle around to different pages, etc. This was funny… she clicked on a piece which opened in a pop-up window. She didn’t know how to get back to the webpage. Then she tries to talk down to me and say, “How am I supposed to get back to your site?” as she tries to refresh the pop-up window. Side note: The only thing worse than being talked down to is when a stupid person talks down to you, cause when you try to point out that they’re stupid, they’re too clueless to get it.

“You don’t need to ‘get back’ because it’s still there. Close the pop-up. (DUH!) Have you been to this site before?”

“Uhm, yes I have.”

(Mmhmm, sure you have.)

After stumbling her way to one of my print samples, she stops and says, “Well, you can see why it would’ve helped if you had brought some print samples.”

(Oh my god. You’re not kidding, I can see why.)

“And… I really don’t know what else to say… (more awkward silence) Do you have any questions for me?”

“No.” (Yes. How the heck did YOU get this job?!”)

“Well, seeing as we need someone with more experience, it doesn’t make any sense to continue.”

(Thank you. Can I go now?)

“I’ll keep your resume incase we have any openings for a junior designer.”

(Like heck I’m coming back.)

“I’ll show you to the door.”

So this whole time I’m just dumb-founded. I have no idea what to say to this person who clearly did NOT prepare for this interview. Usually, when you interview, the interviewer has a copy of your res and cover letter out on his/her desk with notes as to what interested him/her about you, questions to ask, etc. She had no questions, nothing about anything. This whole interview depended on whether I had prints to show which makes it obvious to me that it didn’t matter about that at all. She was totally winging it. At least make it look like I didn’t waste my time coming out here. Ask the obvious questions about my previous jobs, what I liked, what I disliked, how I work in a team, etc. I mean, come on. You don’t even have to be imaginative about that. Those are the default questions and they couldn’t seem to come to her head. Oh, and she even said, more like thinking out loud as she scanned my res, “Well, I must’ve called you out here for a reason. Let’s see here…”

In addition to all this, don’t forget that it’s all the way out in Lynn. So I had to take a bus back to Central Sq. that took like 45 minutes to come. A couple buses passed that were out of service. The one I got on was loaded with loud middle school students coming back from some trip. The driver said it was all for the students but he’d do me a favor and give me a ride back. I get dropped off at Central Sq. to wait another 45+ minutes for the commuter rail to come to take me back to Boston so I can come to the lab and vent on the LJ.

The only good thing today was that it was warm. A rain storm would’ve capped off my day. Maybe next time.

Got interviews? (_|_)!!!

OK so I’ve been on job interviews for the past month. Some were absurd; others were productive. Well, productive in comparison to the absurd ones. I still don’t have a job.

In answer to everyone’s question if I got the job from two weeks ago, the answer is no. Otherwise, the subject would be something like, “EEEEE,” and not involve one of these (|). So after much questioning at this job interview, I knew nothing would get me anywhere since, first of all, I was the first interview at 8:30am over the course of three days of interviews. I’m lucky if they remember my name.

So it went OK. Nothing spectacular. I got the “We’re sorry,” letter in the mail yesterday stating that the reason they’re not hiring me is because they’re looking for someone who can match their position best. They will call me when they have something more web related. Now I don’t think I could’ve emphasized more during the interview that I’m equally comfortable with both print and web design. This job I could’ve handled after one year of college. All it was was typesetting on Quark; barely any design. Although I said over and over that I can do print design, apparently they heard that as, “I can only do web design.” I wrote them a letter saying if they have any freelance available in the future to call me because “I CAN DO PRINT DESIGN.” I didn’t type it in caps, but I would’ve liked to. Caps, bold, and italic to make sure they could see it. Bozos. So the search continues.

Believe it or not, that’s not the interview that gets rated (|).

TODAY, I went on an interview. The (|) interview. I don’t know what happened, but all of a sudden I’m getting called for a bunch of interviews. Early last month when I was at the end of my rope, I applied to several retail stores to fill in the time until I get a real job. So one of these decides to call me Tuesday for an interview at 1:30 today (Thursday). Yesterday, I get 3 other requests for interviews at real jobs. As you can guess, I see no need for going to the non-job since jobs are starting to call me. But I committed to it, so I go. This involves me getting up at 5:30am cause my mom’s takes the car to work and if I don’t leave with her, I’m stuck at home all day.

I go out in service this morning and stop at 12:30 to go to this interview with will hereby be known as “(|)” because I don’t want to dignify it by even calling it an interview. I go to the mall and to the store to meet the manager who is (|)ing me. I wait for a bit for her and she comes out and introduces herself. We go out to a mall bench to do the (|). Apparently, there are no back rooms in the store? So we’re out on the bench next to what looked like a straggly bearded guy from the street who is taking a load off. I feel so professional. So she starts questioning me. “Have you ever worked in retail?” “What is your definition of a successful sales person?” I felt like saying, “One who has decided to go to college to escape the horrors of remaining a sales person,” but I didn’t say that. I was nice. Three of four more questions pass when she says, “OK, that’s about it.” No lie, this whole thing took all of 5 minutes tops.

Now my question is, WHY did this have to be scheduled as an appointment? Did you really have to prepare for this? She scheduled it two days in advance in the middle of the day. If I had known this was the extent of the (|), I sooo wouldn’t have shown up. I could’ve stayed out in the morning with the group or better yet, stayed home and SLEPT. Anything would’ve been more productive than going on this (|).

So goes another day in my unemployed life. I have another interview tomorrow. I’ll share more then.